In Praise of My Husband
Sharon June 18th, 2008
My favorite moment in my whole marriage came on the phone, the night before I was supposed to give my first talk at the Community Solutions Conference - I was panicking about standing up in front of 250 people, and I said to Eric “I’m just praying for courage so I can get up there and say something.” And very calmly, in the way one soothes heated and not-very-bright people, Eric said to me, “Honey, do you think you could pray for something other than courage? Something you don’t already have an excess of, like… common sense?” I laughed so hard I almost threw up, which helped. But I also was struck by how wonderful it was to be understood so well by someone, and loved anyway.
Eric appears here mostly as a character on my blog. Most of the time he’s either in the background, working his behind off so that I can look like I actually accomplish stuff, or he appears here as a comic foil to me, complaining about my habit of collecting livestock and my apocalyptic hobbies.
Tomorrow is Eric’s 38th birthday, and just for the record, he’s a heck of a lot more than that – brilliant and wonderful, funny and extremely hot. Just this once (normally we have the kind of marriage where soppiness is not only not required it is unacceptable, and a certain amount of mutual abuse is mandatory), may I observe that all the stuff I do, all the bad news I read, all the work I do – all of that is made possible by one very simple thing. I’m happy. That is, as bad as the other crap in the world is, and it is sometimes, there’s a core of joy in my life that none of it can penetrate into. And the source of that happiness is my husband – yes, my kids too, but they come in part from him. He is quite literally the best thing that ever happened to me. In fact, to me, he’s proof that there is hope in the world. Because he’s absolute proof that sometimes someone (that would be me) gets much, much more than they deserve. And if the universe can be that merciful to me, well, maybe there’s mercy for all of us in the future.
Next week he goes back to being a character on the blog, but I thought just once I’d break the marital rules and get all soppy in public. Happy Birthday, Eric.
Cheers,
Sharon
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Happy Birthday Eric!!!
I’m all filled with longing now.. but also with a great sense of happiness for you guys. I hope to find a certain someone one day too… thanks for the soppy post.
Hippo hippo birdie!
Aawww! Eric and I have the same birthday! Er… and somewhat more disturbingly, it sounds as if we also have the same marriage… hmmm.
Happy Birthday Eric! Keep on keepin’ her sane!
That is so nice of you to acknowledge his role in your life, Sharon! My sweetie is the best thing that ever happened to me, too, and the reason I bother to figure out how to survive all the coming ‘doom ‘n gloom’. Happy Birthday to Eric and happy marriage to both of you!
That comment he made before your speech made me laugh – its the sort of thing my husband would say to me. Happy birthday to Eric, and I’m pleased you life isnt all doom and gloom!
Okay, folks–I’m Sharon’s mother-in-law and I’m coming out of lurking status for
.
this one. I’ll call tomorrow to say HB to Eric, but Sharon, I freely admit that
this one got me a little weepy (not that that’s unusual….). I could go on and
say “soppy” things about both of you (not to mention the most wonderful four
little guys in the world), but I’ll spare you this time
Your Eric sounds a lot like my Eric (who has been dubbed Deus Ex Machina on my blog
, who also turned 38 this year (weird … I wonder if it’s something about people born in 1969??).
Happy Birthday, Sharon’s Eric
.
Happy Birthday, Eric! It’s my birthday tomorrow, too. Sharon already gave me my gift by giving me a new way to think about how fortunate I am. I also have someone that provides me with an unassailable core of happiness.
Awwww!!!! Happy Birthday to Eric. I hope he enjoys many, many more. What a sweet tribute!
Happy, Happy birthay.
What is interesting (to me) is that I was ponering lately how many really happily married people seem to be in the apocolyptic groups.
Great husbands/Dads are one of this world’s greatest blessings. – Though mine is quite soupy in public.
Sweet posting by “The MIL” too.
There is a birthday song that I can’t remember all the words to that is about doom and gloom – If I can find it I’ll send it along.
Here’s to Eric and all great husbands in the world!
*raising my glass*
Happy Birthday, Eric!
What a sweet post. (And isn’t it the truth that it is our relationships that get us through–both physically and emotionally–whatever difficulties we face!)
That is so sweet. Happy birthday to your husband, and may your blessings as a couple continue and multiply with G’d's help.
I often get soppy about my dear hubby no matter where I am.
There is nothing better than being in a marriage of two as “one”.
It makes me happy to see that in other people too.
My hubby is the best too! We just celebrated our 19th anniversary yesterday and there is nothing better than sharing life’s journey with your best friend.
Huzzah Eric!
Karen
Verde: You mean the SCA Birthday Dirge perhaps?
very, very nice. You guys sound pretty darn lucky, apoplexaclysms and all.
Hehe…yes, also known as the Mongolian birthday song (apologies to Mongolia, which almost certainly had nothing to do with it).
Yay for fantabulous workaholic husbands who are also great dads and love us even though they know us! I’m glad I didn’t get the only one.
Happy birthday Eric!
Cheers!
Ah, such a sweet post. I love happy couples- it’s wonderful to see people who are grateful to have each other.
Today is my SO’s birthday, too. I’m grateful for him.
Happy Birthday, Eric!
And Sharon, I know exactly what you mean as our marriage is very similar. We are blessed. Verde is right maybe–lots of happy marriages among the apocolyptic folks.
Lisa in MN
Feliz Cumpleanos, Eric!
Sharon, perhaps people with happy or “enlightened” marriages or unions can cope better mentally with the tragic themes of Peak Oil, climate change and economic collapse or the collapse of our civilization since there is a certain serenity in their daily lives at home.
I feel empathy for people living an unhappy life at home. How can they handle psychologically or prepare for the coming catastrophes when many are living a sad and chaotic daily life which overwhelms their psyche?
I’ve had a happy marriage for 36 years. My husband inspires me daily. I know he is a sage!
Paz!
~Vegan
Happy Birthday Eric! We Gemini’s have to stick together! You are both blessed to have each other and give us singles hope in the coming darkness. Enjoy your special day and 38th year!
I can’t believe my husband’s birthday was yesterday too! He sounds similar…. (Almost) never complaining about my craziness and the way I insist on discussing the latest doom-news. (Almost) never complaining about my Sun Oven cooking, even when the pita pizzas come out very, very dry.
Thanks for reminding me not to take my hubby for granted!
Happy Birthday Eric!!!
What a sweet, round-out-the-mystery girl post. Well, not such a mystery, but at least personally unknown but much adored, huh?
Thanks MIL for your contribution too, wonderful. You’re a lucky gal to have such wonderful “kids” and grandkids!!!
Hippo birdie two ewes,
Hippo birdie two ewes,
Hippo birdie dear Eric,
Hippo birdie two ewes!
(apologies to Sandra Boynton)
Ailsa Ek – you left off my favorite.
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday
Hooray for all the wonderful spouses who are better to us than they probably should be – I have one of those myself, and am very, very lucky (and grateful).
Gosh, that was the sweetest thing I think I’ve heard anyone say about their spouse in a long, long time. He’s definitely a keeper! Happy birthday to Eric and many more!
While I’m a single, it just warms my heart to hear about happy couples. Too much of the time I hear about domestic crises but all the soppiness and tributes to SO’s here has increased my hope. And made my day!
Thanks for all the gratefullness!
Kerri in AK
Yay to celebrating our wonderful spouses!!!
I think that those in happy relationships can find the energy to acknowledge TANSTFL and TEOWAWKI. I think that’s why there are more happy couple preppers.
Right now I’ve really been appreciating my family!
Happy Birthday Eric! I’m also a June 1970 baby. June 1970 is truly the best!
We Love You Eric!!!! Happy Birthday!
Yea for happy marriages!!! I’m not even married and this makes me all warm and fuzzy inside
(normally we have the kind of marriage where soppiness is not only not required it is unacceptable, and a certain amount of mutual abuse is mandatory)
that made me laugh—because I can relate!
Happy Birthday to your husband, he sounds like a good guy.
Does he have an older brother (single)?
What a lovely post, I’m normally not soppy either (though my wife wishes I was) but you did a fine job in bringing your Eric to life for the rest of us.
Funny, I was JUST thinking about how you didn’t talk about your husband much on this blog. Of course I don’t know you at all personally, but from what I do know, I’m more aware of your kids.
Also, that Boynton “Hippo birdie two ewes” is what goes through my head every time I hear someone say happy birthday, but I never say it out loud because I assume people won’t know the reference. Apparently, it goes through _everyone’s_ head.
Sharon, you are really a lucky person to have such a caring and loving hubby. Eric you are a superstar. Belated happy birthday wishes to you.
Hi Sharon,
This entry made me so happy that I had to respond with this written expression of my deep gratitude to you and Eric both for what your blog has meant to me and my wife Jenny over the last couple years.
Rob
(Fellow former Medieval-Renaissance Lit grad student, now working with Pat, Faith, and Megan at Community Solutions in Yellow Springs, and gladly exhausted resident on a four-acre property developing into a permaculture forest with much help from your recommendations re: perennial sunflowers, veg variety selections, and overall philosophy of a return to family-scale farming in face-to-face communities.)