First, it will be hard on you and Eric. The DH and I were snappish with each other for several months extending past the actual move through getting the former house ready for sale and selling it (we didn’t sell the old house until about 4 months after we bought the new house). What made it bearable is that we both knew it wasn’t personal, so whoever was being snapped at could just let it go. Eventually we both calmed down.

Second, once you have actually moved and gotten enough unpacked that the new place is functional, take some time off and let yourselves recuperate. About 6 months after we moved, once the old house was sold and I realized how frazzled I was, the DH and I decided that for a month we’d do only the most essential house and yard work, and we’d relax the rest of the time. I didn’t have a garden that year so all we had to do was mow the yard. That month off was a wonderful gift. Among other things, we took long walks through the neighborhood most days, getting to know it and meeting people.

Third, for your children it’s best to move now, before they get into their teens. My birth family moved three times in four years when I was a teen. Those moves were far harder on me than any of the moves I’ve made as an adult. That’s probably got a lot to do with my personality – your kids may be much more outgoing than I am – but even in my own family, it was clear that the moves were easier on my two brothers (5 and 13 years younger than me) than they were on my sister (2 years younger than me) and me.

Fourth, give away or sell as much as you can, and move as much of what remains yourself as possible to keep costs down. We packed and moved everything ourselves except for the heavy pieces of furniture (many station wagon loads of boxes and small goods, plus we rented a pickup truck one day to move basement and garden stuff). For the furnishings we contracted with a firm, not a big moving company but a smaller outfit that did local moving (our new place was just eight miles away). We scrounged almost all the boxes we used for packing. You might be able to call on friends and family with bigger vehicles than yours to help with moving; the key is to minimize the amount of stuff you pay someone to move for you.

Whatever you decide, it’s the best decision you can possibly make at this point – in fact, it’s the only decision you can make given everything that’s already happened. Maybe knowing that will help a little. The best to you and your family!

Before you get too emotionally invested in it, try to run the numbers of what you’d walk away with if you sold your home, bought the new one, and assume 10% for moving costs (real estate fees, agent commission, and 101 miscellaneous expenses along the way). Sometimes our minds & wallets make the decision easier for our hearts to make

A couple of years ago I was complaining to a friend of mine from Uzbekistan that my apple trees were not yet bearing fruit, and he described to me how the old farmers in Uzbekistan would dig up and move their young apple trees– not just once, but 3 years in a row! And after that, he said, they would have fantastic crops. My husband, the apple expert in the family confirmed that while he’d never heard of that practice, it could make sense because fruit trees (and berries??) respond to stress by setting fruit– some people here cut roots I think for the same reason.

Anyway, so moving some trees could have some good side effects!

Good luck making your decision– looks like a beautiful place. We have a big old barn and it is both a gift and a real challenge– its a barn designed for probably 50 or so milking cows, (and other farm animals), not 20 chickens and 15 sheep. In other words, we have tons of space to fill with junk!! (and I don’t know why, but I get the feeling you might have a problem with junk — no , I mean incredibly potentially useful items– also……

We are buiding a new house on the higher land at the other side of our 3 acres, to be out of the 1 in 30 years flood. Leaving behind my beloved Tigger in her grave between the house and the creek. Moving sheds and animal pens where we can, building new ones where we can’t move them. But breezes and views and flood proof and the chance to build better pens and sheds based on experience of what works.

I’m having enough angst moving 100 metres. I really feel for you – so much indecision and you are moving to a whole new plot. Shalom.

You do realize, btw, that Kingsolver is a leftist and a progressive, Mother Earth News isn’t a person, and that John Seymour is British leftist, right ?

Sharon