10 Reasons Not to Be Me

Sharon October 2nd, 2009

A friend of mine sent me this list of reasons she’s glad she’s not me, which I thought was pretty funny, and she gave me permission to post it.  It made me laugh, and hopefully you too.

10: People don’t riff obscene on my last name.

9: I don’t have to collect minions (or a minyan).

8: No one cares if I don’t blog for a day.

7: When people at my house pee in a bucket, aim doesn’t count. (I have an all female household.)

6: I have short legs, so I can knit my socks faster.

5: No one asks me to pin-point the exact minute of TEOTWAWKI, calculate how much dried okra a family of 4 needs, or debate the merits of Icelandic sheep fed on thistles vs Merinos fed on organic coffee grounds (fair trade, of course) for producing wool suitable for cloth wipes.

4: No one calls me a breeder.

3: I never write a book under contract.

2: I don’t have to ride in a clown car.

1: I don’t spend any portion of my life looking at goats’ vaginas.

I can’t really argue with any of this ;-).


6 Responses to “10 Reasons Not to Be Me”

  1. katecontinuedon 02 Oct 2023 at 11:41 am

    That is one seriously funny friend.

  2. Kristion 02 Oct 2023 at 11:55 am


  3. Julieon 02 Oct 2023 at 12:33 pm

    I know you don’t do pictures but… I’d sure like to see what the “clown car” could possibly look like.

  4. Heatheron 02 Oct 2023 at 1:41 pm

    Hmm, I think I’d be more inclined to make a list of 10 reasons why I want to be you! At least to be like you. You are a fascinating woman.

  5. Grandma Mision 02 Oct 2023 at 3:27 pm

    I agree with Heather… but it takes a GOOD friend to come up with these hysterical reasons why NOT to be you… ohmygoodness, priceless!! and about the “clown car” it’s not the car that’s clownish (I think you have one just like mine, a Taurus?) but it’s the size of the family trying to shuttle around in the one car… not that I’m implying that your family is “clownish” - it’s just the idea that sometimes when we try, oh so hard, to live a “green” life we all look a little clownish at times, huh? At least to those who don’t garner great satisfaction in hanging laundry out on the line…

  6. Chileon 02 Oct 2023 at 10:02 pm

    11. My list of winter preparations is not 3 pages long.

    12. I can leave my dogs alone in the house for several hours and not be arrested for neglect.

    13. My dogs don’t need milking.

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