The End is Nigh…

Sharon October 29th, 2009

Also known as “your out of town blogiste again turns to The Onion as a substitute for actually writing something herself.”  Still, unlike all that silly 2012 stuff, this might be a nightmare that is actually coming true – it is kind of hard to argue:

“Added Riordan, “It is scientifically impossible for civilization to sink any lower than it will this Friday.”

The panel said the upcoming nadir will be precipitated by a string of smaller devastating events.

At 9 p.m. Wednesday the ABC sitcom Modern Family will premiere, marking the least-inspired creative endeavor ever attempted by modern man. This will reportedly be followed at 12:52 p.m. Thursday by the release of a new energy drink marketed exclusively to U.S. troops stationed in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Experts predict that the penultimate catastrophe will occur at approximately 7:15 p.m. Thursday night, when the social networking tool Twitter will be used to communicate a series of ideas so banal they will instantaneously negate the three centuries of the Renaissance.”

We’re doomed!  Doomed, I say. 


9 Responses to “The End is Nigh…”

  1. Alanon 29 Oct 2009 at 3:58 pm

    I think this “perfect storm” of banality, stupidity, and greed more properly applies to __American__ civilization, than to human civilization in general. And everyone who has ever predicted the nadir of this civilization has had to eat their words shortly thereafter when we sink even lower. So, I think that the best we can hope for is to bump along the bottom for a while before declining yet again to another point which some will consider our nadir, on and on, ad infinitum.

  2. agwhon 29 Oct 2009 at 4:06 pm

    Made me laugh! Thanks.

    -Amy, NW of Atlanta

  3. Shambaon 29 Oct 2009 at 5:41 pm

    *GRIN* I laugh but this is also too close to some stuff I read regularly on the net!

    Peace to All, Shamba

  4. Teresa Noelle Robertson 29 Oct 2009 at 7:31 pm

    I must take issue with The Onion on one detail. Taz is not a sign of the decline of Western civilization. Taz, Bugs and the other classic Loony Toons characters are, in fact, a sign of hope for our foolish species. Laughing at the absurd is a GOOD thing. Not recognizing the absurd? That’s when we have problems.

    Loved the piece.

  5. Consumeron 29 Oct 2009 at 10:11 pm

    Usually I think The Onion is right on, but in this case I disagree.

    Modern Family is actually one of the most inspired sitcoms in a very long time. I was laughing so hard at last week’s episode that the dog became concerned that I was choking.

  6. The Ravenon 30 Oct 2009 at 7:59 am

    Yikes. Why am I always traveling away from my family out of town when doom is predicted? I hope they can make it without me. (At least we don’t have a tv. I had not really thought about that as a decision that might allow our continued survival.)

  7. Gailon 30 Oct 2009 at 8:50 am

    My son-in-law just visited for a week bringing the swine flu with him. Two hundred fifty pounds of white male privilege. We have nothing in common so finding thing to talk about for the 4 hour ER visit was a challenging exercise. ( Daughter was home with the baby). The sound bites on which his assumptions are based were just on beyond stupid. But we had to hold everything in check because his pulse was already high and the monitors would light up and beep and the nurse would come in…

  8. deweyon 30 Oct 2009 at 8:59 am

    Hint: If you have flu and you have the wherewithal to argue for four hours, you do not need to be in the ER getting in the way of real emergencies.

  9. pink flamingo tangoiston 30 Oct 2009 at 4:12 pm

    That’s mighty fine satire, but also an example of something that does not sit well with me –enough so that I speak out about it. Some of the most beautifully kind, loyal and generous folks I have ever known managed to do so in spite of the cultural elite’s opinions of them. How enlightened is that?

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